Valentine's Day Sucks

It's Called Talking!!

If another person asks me to "interface with the client" I am going to rape their faces.

So, when they ask me what I'm doing, I can gleefully say, "interfacing".

Stupid Things My Boss Says

"I like stealing. Stealing is a good thing."

Holiday Jeer

Much like the roaming minions of Mephistopheles himself, the holiday crowd is out this year in full swing. But, unlike the years before, the mindless army of consumer drones seems to be growing ever smaller year by year. This doesn't make my life any easier on the road somehow despite their dwindling numbers surprisingly. I guess even a small amount of assholery is too much assholery.

I can only hope that the lessening enthusiasm over this holiday season is a sign of the end of its hustle and bustle and finally mark the end to this annoying and intrusive holiday season. And the signs are there. Advertisers are getting ever more desperate to suck people in to their stores, less and less people are willing to fall for those "holiday savings", and I get to sit behind less and less morons in traffic when I'm just trying to go get something to eat.

Much like the death throes of Halloween, Christmas is wheezing and hacking out its death rattle and not a moment too soon. This holiday season does not warm the hearts of people anymore other than fill the expectations of children who can't wait for their demands to be fulfilled under that tree in exchange for another year of tolerance of their parents.

This holiday season has worn out its welcome like that uncle at New Years who stays way too late after midnight pounding down bloody marys. Adults refuse to let go of this holiday though much like keeping their dying grandmother on life support refusing to accept the ugly truth that the end is nigh, clinging to the last shattered memories of their childhood in a week attempt to relive it.

Blue Jersey Sky

It's a big blue Jersey sky,
Lay on my back and watch clouds roll by.
I've got the time to wonder why,
She left me.

It's a slow sad Jersey song,
I knew the words but I sang them wrong.
The one I love has left and gone,
Without me.

Now she's gone, our world has changed.
Watching a blue sky, thinking of rain.

It's a slow sad Jersey song,
I knew the words but I sang them wrong.
The one that I love has left and gone,
Without me.

It's a big blue Jersey sky,
I Lay on my back and watch clouds roll by.
I only wish I could make you cry,
Like I do.

original lyrics by Chris Isaak, modified by yours truly

Stupid Things My Boss Says

"If we make the passwords too complicated, the users will just end up changing them."

Marketting Buzzwords

I am getting really fucking tired of people using the word 'solution' when they mean 'product'. Your company does not sell 'business solutions'. Knock it the fuck off! Stop trying to over-complicate what your company does by replacing words. If your company sells rubber dog shit, you do NOT sell synthetic canine waste solutions. Face it, you are a rubber dog shit company and sell rubber dog shit.

Companies that focus in computer products are guilty of this the most, espcially when what they sell isn't too clear. When you hear 'solutions' instead of 'product' in a company's sales pitch, be warned that you are most likely being sold something completely and utterly useless to you. It's meaningless! It's nothing more than a way to confuse and delude the customer while simultaneously artificially increasing the value of the product by one-hundred percent. If you were to buy a Resturant Website, you would expect to pay $500 to $1000 for it. If you were to buy a Culinary Enterprise Web Solution, you could expect to pay between $2500 and $5000. This kind of revolting language makes me want to slap a baby... or at least look into infant disciplinary solutions.